24: Live Another Day Hour 6
Plot: Don’t worry you guys. No one important (the show’s definition not mine) was killed in that little drone strike from last week.
Anyway, so after that incident, President Heller is all like “Um my bad” and immediately gives Jack whatever he wants. Guns. Communication gadgets. Kate. And just like that, the two most attractive blondes in the war against terror are not only on the same side, they’re now partners.
Being Jack Bauer, he decides to immediately push this newfound partnership to the very brink. You see, in order to get the arms dealer who knows Mama Stark to talk, Jack needs to get back in his good graces. To do that, he kinda needs a human sacrifice sooooo … But don’t worry, Jack assures Kate. He’s totally going drug her up before he hands her over to this psycho so he (the psycho) won’t torture her right away. Kate will be sound asleep while Jack helps Chloe hack into the arms dealer’s computer system and by the time she wakes up the world will be saved. Easy as pie.
Of course, the arms dealer has a drug to counteract Jack’s drug and Kate is immediately woken up and forced to run the gauntlet of torture devices: Electrical shocks, water, drills, knives, being strung up by your arms which are stretched out behind your back.
Meanwhile, the Brits, who up until this point have been very content to do nothing while Mama Stark threatens to drone-strike their country back to “Game of Thrones” times, have had a change of heart. Instead of doing nothing, now they’ve decided to do nothing helpful. Prime Minister Stephen Fry learns that Heller’s got a touch of the Alzheimer’s, so Fry immediately begins second-guessing everything, including Heller’s decision to put Jack in the field.
Sensing Jack may be going off the rails, Fry orders a team to storm the arms dealer’s pad and forcibly take whatever info Jack is trying to acquire by stealth. This turns out to be something that leads to Mama Stark. I think it was Simone’s cell phone or something.
The Brits show up, the ruse is busted, Jack gets the info he needs, Kate gets her badass moment where she kills a bunch of henchmen, the Brits are all killed and Jack and Kate go about their merry way.
Elsewhere, Mama Stark decides Simone should kill Naveed’s sister and young niece, Simone is less than thrilled with this and cocks the whole thing up as the Brits would say, managing to accidentally kill the sister while trying to help her escape. Then Simone manages to get herself hit by a bus while chasing the little girl and attempting to explain she didn’t mean it.
The smarmy Chief of Staff gets himself caught in a lie when the Russians call to inquire about when they can pick up Jack, as per the Executive Order on which Chief of Staff forged Heller’s signature. So that’s not going good, luckily he has an easy out (whisper: Alzheimer’s).
And just when you thought there couldn’t be more plot: Benjamin Bratt turns out to be some sort of mole who set up Kate’s husband as a traitor (she IS a great agent after all!) and he talks to a shadowy-sounding character on the phone about moley things.
Bad: “It was an ambush!” – President Heller. That Heller, you literally can’t sneak a drone strike by this guy.
Bad: Bratt is back, ya’ll. Apparently, you can sneak a drone right passed this guy without doing much more than mussing his hair.
Good: Jack Bauer, limit-pusher. In Jack’s world, Kate goes from a casual acquaintance to “Put your life in my hands while I drug you and hand you over to a wanted terrorist” in like a three Mississippi. And Kate, to her new-found credit, is only mildly hesitant about the whole thing. If there were actually 24 episodes this season, you know they’d find a way to retcon her in as Jack’s younger-but-somehow-still twin-sister.
Bad: Naveed’s sister apparently has his keen sense of timing. She chooses to leave him a voice mail right as Mama Stark’s henchmen are about to close up the body bag, bringing all sorts of hellfire down on herself.
Bad: Stephen Fry, Meddling Marsha. I liked it better when he was window dressing. I guess we needed someone else to actively stonewall the plot since Kate is now on Jack’s side and her former partner is stuck tagging along with Benjamin Bratt.
Good: This Russian thing had me all squirmy. Even though I know how it’s going to play out (Heller forgot due to Alzheimer’s, duh) I still really enjoyed watching Chief of Staff guy sweat. I might just learn your name, sir.
Good: Kate Morgan, badass. Somehow all of the other tortures paled in comparison to the arm thing. Much ouch. And then she totally shrugs it off and kills like three dudes. There’s still some bad “Dexter” memories here, but overall, consider me won over.
Goodest thing ever: Jack calls arms dealer’s bluff. Jack says I’ve got an account at this bank (he doesn’t). Arms dealer is all then you must know Bill. Jack says nothing. Chloe can’t figure out if Bill actually works in the bank. This goes on for like five minutes and then Jack just flat out calls the dude a liar and says there is no Bill. Most of this happens while the arms dealer has got a gun pointed to Jack’s head. Classic.
Good: Simone leaves the fold. All it took was having her mom: threaten to destroy an entire country, kill Simone's husband, cut off Simone's finger and then order Simone to kill her dead husband’s sister and preteen niece to convince her that maybe she was on the wrong side. Maybe. She gets a good for the decision, but a
Bad: Because it took this long! You and Naveed really were meant for each other. I imagine the two of them met while they both were walking through a dark alley in the bad part of town at night with twenty dollar bills hanging out of their pockets while they each sang Spice Girls tunes very loudly.
Bad: Benjamin Mole-man. It’s just, you know, I really thought there was already enough going on.