The other week we discussed crummy neighbors and my porch light-like ability to attract them like moths.
I need to clarify something though. It’s not just at my place of residence that these pains in the butt seem to circle me. I’ve also had a pretty impressive history as far as the people who’ve occupied the cubicles around me at work.
I’ve had two neighbors fired for making up stories rather than actually interviewing people. Another of my former neighbors quit right before she would have been fired for being both horrible at her job and for being a complete enigma the likes of which isn’t often seen outside of Russian hockey players.
Currently, I’ve got two empty cubes and an aisle around me but it’s not nearly enough.
To my left is an older lady who is completely and utterly baffled by every form of technology more advanced than a lead pencil. She’s mostly harmless, though I know the IT folks who are walking a rut back and forth to her desk to show her how to use a printer would passionately disagree.
My big issue with her is her incessant need to inform everyone about her background working in print journalism. I’ve heard her explain her “just the facts” background enough times that I probably wouldn’t have much trouble penning her life story. If she’d let me use anything that high tech to write it, that is.
She also has an irritating tick where she uses the phrase “you know” as a verbal period. It’s at the end of every sentence that comes out of her mouth and when you hear it, you know to be ready as it may be your turn to speak.
But again, mostly harmless.
Diagonal from me though, is a girl who is anything, anything but harmless.
She seems like a pleasant enough person. She’s quick with a “Hi!” and a smile whenever you cross paths with her in the halls. She’s usually chipper and approachable.
But she is also the devil incarnate.