Tuesday, October 29, 2013

My Cat Week from Hell or How I spent $500 on a Halloween Costume


Being paranoid is expensive.
                You might not think it, what with the usual isolation and aversion to leaving the house, but it’s totally true. Just go ask any one of those “Armageddon prepper” people who keep getting TV shows on deep cable for some reason.
                Retrofitting SUVs to run on human feces and training your dog how to run a CB radio both cost a lot of money. A LOT.
                Now I’m no prepper. I have no discernible skills that would be in any way useful should society go belly up. Unless writing business-to-business newsletters and complaining about things on the internet plays a bigger role in post-apocalyptic American than I’m forseeing.
                So why prep? I’m the guy at the beginning of the zombie movie who gets hit by a car while crossing a street as he’s running away from a zombie. You don’t need to prep for that. You just need to enjoy the ride until that Prius slams into you at a cool 60 mph.