Sunday, June 23, 2013

Who are you? Nothing like a man or lady in uniform
                Whether they’re for a sports team, a nation’s military or even a corporation, they make things easier.
                When uniforms are in the equation, you always know who’s on your side and who’s there to help. Barring some sort of undercover spy situation, of course.
                Also, public education be damned, uniforms make getting dressed in the morning to go to school ten trillion times easier and they eliminate a huge chunk of social stigma. After all, you can’t tell who’s poor or rich or whatever when everyone’s dressed the same way. Well, you can, but it takes a little more looking.
                When I walk into a store and see a person in uniform, I know who to talk to whenever I finally come around and decide I need help finding something. It’s nice, it’s comforting and everyone’s happy.
                Well, not everyone, apparently.

                A select group of people, let’s call them godless anarchists, have decided to throw a huge monkey wrench in the gears of this system.
                I’m talking about the people who aren’t in uniform, but who still feel the need to hop behind the counter and start helping customers.
                Let me give you a recent example. I go to a gym. Yes, I know, ladies, settle yourselves, please. This is the internet. It’s not like anything goes.
                Anyway, so I go to this gym and it’s a chain gym so the people who work there all wear easy-to-spot uniforms identifying themselves as employees.
                Except every so often when it gets super busy, I’ll see a guy or gal helping out at the smoothie bar in regular workout clothes. I know!
                Now, I don’t know if this person is an employee who came in to work out during their off hours, or is someone who just got fired or quit or who’s never worked there, but just happens to know their way around a blender.
                And what if you were just fired? I can assure you that I want no part in any sick revenge you plan on exacting on your former employer. I’m just a guy who wants a strawberry banana shake free of poison, spit or really anything outside of strawberries, bananas and ice. And maybe milk.
                I’m sure you mean well and you’re just trying to go above and beyond help your co-worker even though you’re off the clock.
But when everyone else is wearing uniforms and you’re not, it kind of makes me think I’m getting gyped in some way. As if the uniform somehow makes the service I’m about to receive official.
No thanks random stranger, I’ll wait for the professional to ring me up thank you much.

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