Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Christmas lights: Now for every day of the year!

People are getting weirder. Maybe dumber too, but definitely weirder.
                Consider this brand new social phenomenon I’ve been observing for the last several months.
                I've never seen this before in all my years, but suddenly it's everywhere.
                It seems some folks have decided to buck tradition and societal norms and not only leave their outdoor Christmas lights up well into June, but they continue to illuminate them as well.
                Now look. I’m a lazy man in many aspects of my life. A lazy, oafish man. So I understand these folks’ disinterest in spending an entire Sunday afternoon outside un-decorating their home, when to be honest, they’ll only be right back out there redecorating ’em in a scant six months.
                I get that. On certain days I might even respect it.
                What I can’t understand is the blatant thumbing of one’s nose at society that goes along with lighting up the greens, reds and clears every night.  
                Just from a purely practical perspective this makes no sense. Are you people so well off that you barely bat an eye at the year-round bloat your electrical bill is forced to endure because of your odd commitment to celebrating Jesus’ b-day?

                Them purty lights ain’t free, is what I’m trying to say.
                And I’m not one to judge, but allow me to do just that right now. Judging by the less-than-immaculate, downright shaggy state of the homes and yards, I’m going to guess the Rockefellers or the Kardashians don’t reside there.
                Why keep the lights on? I just don’t understand. Are you that into Jesus that you’re willing to literally burn money you don’t have to celebrate 365 days of Christmas?
                We all love Christmas. Christian, Jew, indifferent, we all love getting and giving presents.
                But the thing that makes Christmas - and all the trimmings that go along with it – special is that it’s a once a year kind of thing.
                You drag a big tree into your house, put a bunch of stuff on it and then throw it out less than a month later. But throwing it out is what makes that Christmas tree special, don’t you see? If it stayed there year round, it’d be called a house plant.
                Hear me, hear me people of the world. Let’s keep the holiday season special. If you’re not going to take down your lights, at least don’t turn them on.     

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