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Until today, I’ve managed to avoid a scourge that usually
plagues the Christmas music season: “Christmas Shoes” by NewSong
(actual band name by the way, I guess
GenricName was taken).
Now
look, I’m hesitant to call “Christmas Shoes” the worst Christmas/holiday song
of all time. Not as long as Dan Fogelberg’s “Another Auld Lang Syne” is still
out roaming free, taking lives where it pleases.
While
it isn’t definitively the worst holiday song, “Christmas Shoes” is without a
shadow of a doubt the cheesiest, sappiest thing in a season chock-full of
cheesy, sappy things.
When it
came on the radio this morning, I did the only thing any sane and clear-headed
person could do when faced with the prospect of listening to NewSong’s “Christmas
Shoes”: I considered cutting the steering wheel hard to the left and plowing
straight into a concrete barrier at a reasonable rate of speed.
Eventually
I decided against it. Even more incorrect, I decided to listen to the song.
Call me a masochist, but I hadn’t heard it in a year and I wanted to see if it
was as much a syrupy nightmare as I remembered it.
Oh
yeah. It’s worse.
“Christmas
Shoes” is the soap opera of Christmas music.
