A little over 2 ½ months ago, my previous blog, The Cheese
List, came to a rather unceremonious end.
For
somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 ½ years – funny how that worked out – I did
my best to find the worst movie of all time. There were weekly reviews, there
was news, a “Transformers” marathon and there were even lists for a little
while.
After
all of that time spent blogging on the dregs of Hollywood, I learned a few key
lessons.
One,
man was not meant to subsist on cheesy movies alone. Sadly, I only had time for
a finite number of movies a week, usually that number was in the neighborhood
of one.
Because of that horribly imbalanced
diet, I learned that only watching horrible movies can do a real number on a
person’s soul.
I also learned that the longest I can
commit to daily, and by daily I mean workweek daily, posts is about six months.
Considering my previous relationships prior to my present one each lasted about
three months, I’d say six months is pretty damn awesome.
The whole purpose of The Cheese
List was to find the worst, most unwatchable movie of all time.
According to the standings, it looks
like there was a tie between Johnny Depp’s early career embarrassment “PrivateResort” and “Titanic II” which wasn’t quite a sequel to James Cameron’s epic
love story, but it was close.
Without a doubt my favorite part of
that ill-fated experiment was that it introduced me to writer, director, actor,
purported Russian-mobster and all around weirdo, Tommy Wiseau and his masterpiece
“The Room.”
The deranged love story/love letter
to the city of San Francisco was far too hilarious to ever really deserve its
reputation as the worst movie of all time.
So
passionate was my love for “The Room” that I even dragged my beloved lady-friend
to a midnight, “Rocky Horror” style screening of the film where audience
members shouted out lines and their own “MST3K”-style dialogue.
There
you have it. The conclusion to The Cheese List.
And now
we look to the future. Where do we go from here as Rich Hoffman of The Daily
News might ask?
Well,
The Cheese Life will be a return to old days for yours truly. The Post
Collegiate Apocalypse (Sidenote: I'd link to this blog, but Google has deemed it infected with copious amounts of vicious malware) days. No structure, no overarching point. Movie, music,
book, TV reviews, sports, life, dinosaurs. Just words on whatever thoughts wander
into my brain.
Updates
will be infrequently frequent. At least once a week though, of that I can
assure you.
Until
then, bumblebee tuna, vaya con dios and up and at them.
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