Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Ending one chapter, beginning another

A little over 2 ½ months ago, my previous blog, The Cheese List, came to a rather unceremonious end.
                For somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 ½ years – funny how that worked out – I did my best to find the worst movie of all time. There were weekly reviews, there was news, a “Transformers” marathon and there were even lists for a little while.
                After all of that time spent blogging on the dregs of Hollywood, I learned a few key lessons.
                One, man was not meant to subsist on cheesy movies alone. Sadly, I only had time for a finite number of movies a week, usually that number was in the neighborhood of one.     
Because of that horribly imbalanced diet, I learned that only watching horrible movies can do a real number on a person’s soul.
I also learned that the longest I can commit to daily, and by daily I mean workweek daily, posts is about six months. Considering my previous relationships prior to my present one each lasted about three months, I’d say six months is pretty damn awesome.

The whole purpose of The Cheese List was to find the worst, most unwatchable movie of all time.
According to the standings, it looks like there was a tie between Johnny Depp’s early career embarrassment “PrivateResort” and “Titanic II” which wasn’t quite a sequel to James Cameron’s epic love story, but it was close.
Without a doubt my favorite part of that ill-fated experiment was that it introduced me to writer, director, actor, purported Russian-mobster and all around weirdo, Tommy Wiseau and his masterpiece “The Room.”
The deranged love story/love letter to the city of San Francisco was far too hilarious to ever really deserve its reputation as the worst movie of all time.
                So passionate was my love for “The Room” that I even dragged my beloved lady-friend to a midnight, “Rocky Horror” style screening of the film where audience members shouted out lines and their own “MST3K”-style dialogue.
                There you have it. The conclusion to The Cheese List.
                And now we look to the future. Where do we go from here as Rich Hoffman of The Daily News might ask?
                Well, The Cheese Life will be a return to old days for yours truly. The Post Collegiate Apocalypse (Sidenote: I'd link to this blog, but Google has deemed it infected with copious amounts of vicious malware) days. No structure, no overarching point. Movie, music, book, TV reviews, sports, life, dinosaurs. Just words on whatever thoughts wander into my brain.
                Updates will be infrequently frequent. At least once a week though, of that I can assure you.
                Until then, bumblebee tuna, vaya con dios and up and at them.        

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