My Wedding: The Long and Epic Tale of Surgically Joining Two Lives as One

articles.pubarticles.com

"With this ring I ask you to be mine." It was with those words that Johnny Depp accidentally married a zombie in "The Corpse Bride." That was our first date. It wasn't the last Johnny Depp movie we watched together, which I think you're alright with, and it wasn't the last zombie movie we watched together either, which I think you're less-alright with. Sorry.

It took us ten years to get here and in that time I learned a few things. Perhaps most importantly of all, I learned that there's no one I’d rather drag to a horror movie or be dragged to a movie where people talk about their feelings by.

The good news is I promise to keep dragging you to horror movies and I hope you'll keep dragging me to your Janice movies. I promise to keep nagging you for your opinions on things even if you don't want to chime in if you’ll keep nagging me about my day. I promise never to take you for granted and to never stop thinking of you as my favorite person ever, no matter what adventures or misadventures we go off on today, tomorrow and for the rest of our lives. You’re everything I could have ever wanted and even better you’re not a zombie, so with this ring, I ask you to be mine. 

Thank you to everyone who was there yesterday, in-person or in spirit. You mean the world to us. That's kind of a cliche and it doesn't really mean all that much, but it's the closest approximation I have to how we really feel about you all. Sincerely, thank you.  

Babies and weddings or what to expect when you put them on the guestlist

blog.timesunion.com

So this blog entry is going to be about babies. Again. Sorry, but this is what happens when you start getting old.

            Even if you don’t have an actual human baby to cart around, babies somehow find start playing a bigger role in your life. People you know have them. Those same people expect you to interact with the baby. They want you to hold it, fawn over it, call it cute and such.

            I was at a family member’s wedding the other day. It was a pleasant affair. There was boozing, dancing, cheesy wedding music. Good times.

On the list of cons was the unfortunate church ceremony, but whatevs. To each their own on the subject of religion.

Another con? One of the bridesmaids had a baby. So naturally, this meant the baby had to be very, very involved in the process of helping my cousin and her boyfriend join their lives together as one in the eyes of the church.

Because obviously, duh. Wherever babies go, their parents just assume people want the little monsters involved and heavily.

So really my problem isn’t with the baby itself, more so the parents. What a not-so-shocking twist.