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| kellywentcrazy.blogspot.com |
We should probably get this out of the way right off the
top. Parents of the world: I have no interesting in kidnapping and/or murdering
your children! None!
But if I did (and I don’t), I can assure
you, you made it very easy for me.
I volunteer at a cat adoption
center. Basically, I clean cages, let cats run around in this little room and
just have fun with the kitties for a few hours every weekend.
The adoption center where I volunteer
is located off to the side of a large, chain pet store, but I’m not affiliated
with said pet store in any way. I wear no uniform or name tag while I’m there.
One side of the room is all large
cat cages, the other side is almost all floor-length windows, so shoppers can
look in, see the kitties and hopefully find one to adopt.
How does me being nothing short of
an animal-loving hero tie-in to me not kidnapping and/or murdering children?
In my two plus years volunteering
there, I’ve noticed one thing: Parents all secretly hate their children and
want nothing more than to get away from them, even if it’s just for a few
minutes – even if it means sticking them with a complete stranger in a mildly isolated
tiny room.
Ladies and gentlemen, that’s where I
come in. Meet the complete stranger.
I can’t calculate the number of times
parents have dumped their kids in the adoption center with me and then just
plain disappeared for huge chunks of time. Hell, why pay for a babysitter when
a weird, uniform-less, name tag-less, greasy-haired guy in a pet store can
totally do the same thing for free?
I mean, that’s just good business. Miserable
parenting, but awesome business.
I’ve had parents knock on the glass
to be let in, send in their kids and then watched the adult vanish like a
teen-aged runaway, leaving me to entertain the kids.
Incidentally, this phenomenon is
significantly more common around Christmas time, which I guess makes sense
because if your kids are dead in a ditch somewhere, you don’t have to buy them
Christmas presents.
So again, business.
