 |
| www.24spoilers.com |
Plot: Surprise! In the plot twist to end all plot twists,
Johnny Depp tech survived an assassination attempt! And most likely a second
one! Oh yeah and some other stuff happened.
Let’s
see, Kate dragged Simone’s mostly dead body into the CIA for resurrecting and interrogating
purposes. After a lot of icky medical talk, the doctor gives Simone a shot
which wakes her up long enough for her to sell out Mama Stark’s former location
and Naveed’s magic disk thing that gives whoever has it access to the terrorist
cell’s computer stuff.
Meanwhile,
Jack and Chief of Staff Mark are ordered by President Heller to play nice and
come up with a plan to get him to a rendezvous with Mama Stark all without
anyone noticing. Jack proceeds to come up with the plan in a second all by
himself. It involves extracting the President from the building and getting him
to Wembley Stadium in a helicopter. Mark’s role in this? Act like a horrible bureaucrat
and hold an endless staff meeting that no one needs while important stuff
happens everywhere else. It’s the role both men were born to play and they pull
it off without a hitch.
Elsewhere,
Depp survives the aforementioned assassination attempt and calls in to Benjamin
Bratt to come get him. Of course, Bratt is a mole, so he tips the assassin off
to Depp’s location. Depp briefly gets a leg up on the assassin, but their fight
ends with the assassin shot and dead and Depp stabbed and in poor shape. I
guess we can count that as a partial win for the pencil-pushers out there?
I mean,
that’s pretty much all the big happenings. Sure, Jack and Heller arrive at
Wembley. Sure Chloe tries and fails to use Naveed’s magic disk thing to stop
the drones and sure Mama Stark drone strikes the living beejesus out of President
Heller as he stands helpless in the middle of the stadium, while Jack watches
in the wings.
But the
important thing was totally all that Johnny Depp tech stuff.
Good: Holy shit that ending, you guys! Admittedly, “24” was
getting a little stale. There were the usual betrayals and double-crosses and
mole reveals, but it was starting to feel a teeny tiny bit blah. But killing
Heller? That’s the type of thing that keeps everyone on their toes and reignites
the tension.
Good: Kate says please. Maybe Kate and Jack aren’t so
similar after all. Jack’s interrogation method involves threatening to shove
towels down people’s throats and to tear out their stomach lining. Kate? She
asks nicely. And just like that, Simone starts spilling the beans! Stomach
lining unmolested. What a world.
Bad: Heller and Audrey’s goodbye. Audrey doesn’t know the
plan is for Heller to give himself over to Mama Stark. Still, Heller is her dad
and the President and she literally has zero time to talk to him. How important
is that form? Also, you’ll notice a pattern here coming up.
Good: Pencil-pushers unite. Still won’t learn your name sir
and your plot line doesn’t interest me in the slightest other than Michael
Wincott’s glancing involvement. Still, you go noodle arms.
Bad: Heller’s reaction to impromptu surgery. Jack cuts the
Prez’s tracking chip out of his arm. Heller responds by yelling “Yikes” and “Wow-o.”
Come on, man. You’re the President. At least drop a goddmanit.
Good: Heller’s plain black baseball cap disguise. Where do
people find these things? I feel like if I ever see a guy walking around in a
black cap with no logo, I’ll just assume he’s involved in shadiness.
Bad: A bloodless Jack Bauer extraction mission is a like a
birthday without cake. One measly guard gets knocked out? That’s it? Sigh.
Good: Jack parks the helicopter in the parking lot instead
of in the open air stadium. Because some rules can’t be broken.
Good: Random 30 second Michael Wincott appearance. He calls
to check in on Bratt, there’s no progress. He hangs up and calls Chloe, she’s still
helping Jack. Done and done. See you next week everyone. There was a missed sitcom
opportunity here for Wincott to get confused and accidentally talk to Chloe in the
spooky voice about treason or make kissy sounds at Bratt.
Bad: Audrey and Mark. She finds out her dad is giving
himself over to terrorists and Mark knew about it and then they have the worst,
least interesting argument ever. They have the kind of argument a couple would
have if one of them took the last Greek yogurt. Audrey is the worst.
Good: Did we talk about Heller getting drone-striked all to
hell? Because that was legitimately shocking. So much so, I assume we’ll find
out this was all a scam and that Chloe actually did hack the drones and managed
to imbed a fake video of Heller blowing up.
No comments:
Post a Comment