That just
sounds way too exhausting for me.
Tuesday
was supposed to be my week off from softball, but due to a lack of players I was
summoned to represent my employer in athletic competition. Furthermore, due to
a lack of female players, my girlfriend was also summoned even though she is
not an employee.
My
new-found ability to be barely adequate at softball has been well-documented. Equally well-documented (if I do say so myself) has been my
surprise at this and my expectation for me to revert back to my previous
ability level, which my 7th grade baseball coach publicly likened
to that of “an old lady.”
Well revert
it did on Tuesday night. I’d blame my girlfriend for jinxing me with her presence,
but there’s not a lawyer in the world who could make that case. We’ve all been
expecting this to happen for too long for that to be anything other than an
unfortunate coincidence.
I found
myself near the bottom of the batting order this week instead of the leadoff
spot I’d occupied recently. I should have seen this for what it was – a dark
omen of things to come – and just run off screaming into the night. But for
whatever reason, I didn’t make the connection at the time.
On
defense nothing changed. I was in my usual spot in right field, wisely placed
there to minimize the chances I’d be called upon to do anything of value and screw
it up. I had exactly one ball hit my way by the team full of righties we
played. It was a grounder. I picked it up, threw it wildly to the person covering
second, who somehow was able to field it and tag out a runner. I’m going to
give myself an outfield assist on that play even though the only reason the
play even happened was because the other team’s runner had slid well passed the
bag. The rest of my night was a whole lotta standing, which I will in no way
complain about. It’s just risk management 101.
