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| makobiscribe.com |
The old saying goes that the eyes are the windows to a
person’s soul, but I think the bathroom is a much more direct route.
Heck,
people lie with their eyes all the time.
I’m
going to keep making eye contact and blinking at you to indicate I’m listening,
but in reality I’m thinking who would win in a race between a turtle and sloth.
Bathrooms though, those don’t lie
nearly as often. They tell you a lot about who a person really is, and in my experience,
a lot of people are really gross.
Every so often at work, I’ll find
myself pooping. Actually, that’s probably the worst way to put that. It makes
it sound like sometimes I’m just sitting at my desk and suddenly poop starts
coming out.
No, I’ll poop at work. In the bathroom,
like we’re supposed to.
Anyway, so I’ll be there, in the
stall, pooping, and sometimes another fellow will come in to use the urinal.
I’ve learned a great number of
horrible and terrifying things about co-workers based solely on observing them
through the gap between the stall door and the wall and also with my ears.
The most horrible-est and terrifying-est?
It’s not how many people don’t wash their hands after handling their business
in the restroom. Or how many people who I’m sure I’ve shaken hands with who don’t
wash their hands.
No the worst part, the kind of
knowledge that will make you start randomly pooping at your desk, is how many frontline
people who I can only assume shake a metric ton of hands during their 9-5s don’t
wash their hands.
We’re talking company representative
types. People who interview job-seekers and lead meetings.
These are people who shake so many
hands all day that they should be wearing Spider-Man-esque web slingers on
their wrists, only instead of webs these things should shoot Purel directly
onto their palms. I mean, I’m no giant fan of Purel, but that just sounds like
basic hygiene.
