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There’s been a bit of hubaloo going on this week about the “mini ice age” we’re all supposedly in store for between the years 2030 and 2040 or
there abouts. In case you missed it, allow me, a man with no science background
whatsoever, to explain.
In the
year 2030, the sun is going to go on a “stay-cation,” meaning it’s going to take
a little time for itself, without going anywhere. It’ll do a few chores around
the house, maybe catch up on its Netflix and onDemand and stuff. Lot of John
Oliver to watch. Anyway, during this lull in solar activity, some
scientists think Earth will cool off drastically, leading to a mini-ice age.
Temperatures will be colder, polar bears will be bear-ier and snowball fights
will leave the realm of children’s games and be elevated to settle disputes on
a global scale. Sort of like what happened with the card game “WAR.”
The
scientist leading the charge on this points to a similar situation which occurred
way back in the 1700s. However, other scientists are like “Na-uh, that didn’t happen that way.” In fact, those negative scientists are saying the mini ice
age won’t be a thing at all. They claim we need to be way more worried about
global warming than we do about the sun taking a decade to find itself.
As is the case when scientists
disagree over science, the rest of us are left scratching our heads and waiting
for Al Gore or Leo DiCaprio to show up and tell us what to think. I’d also
accept the aforementioned John Oliver or the “South Park” guys should those
first two options be unavailable.
Even though the mini ice age may
turn out to be more of a bust than “Ice Age 2” – face it, that movie was not great – I still
took the news seriously and by seriously I mean I went through the usual routine I follow whenever
news of a pending global disaster breaks.
